Ramblings of Silver Blue


Archive for the 'Humour' Category

22 May

I can’t stop laughing.

16 May

Morning Humour

Courtesy to Moonglow. A little girl walked to and from school daily. The weather that morning was questionable and clouds were forming as she made her daily trek to the elementary school. As the afternoon progressed, the winds whipped up, along with thunder and lightning. The mother of the little girl felt concerned that her […]

15 May

Funny of the day

11 May

Call Don Imus

This is what he meant, right? (Get it? A “Nappy Headed Ho”!)

08 May

Afternoon Humour

Perhaps the best Blonde joke ever…. A blonde bought two horses and then had trouble telling them apart. She asked the farmer next door what she could do. He told her to cut one of the horses tail short and leave the other one long, so she did, and this worked for a while. Then […]

30 Apr

Health warning.

The question is: Do you use bacon grease? We were raised on bacon grease (lard) as kids and even into adulthood. I will never use it again. I hope you will throw yours away whenever you fry bacon from now on. It seems as though nothing is safe to eat anymore. I just threw out […]

30 Apr

Your laugh of the day.

27 Apr

Morning humour

(Courtesty of Moonglow) Gender meaning of words… 1. THINGY (thing-ee) n. Female…… Any part under a car’s hood. Male….. The strap fastener on a woman’s bra. 2. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj. Female…. Fully opening up one’s self emotionally to another. Male…. Playing football without a cup. 3. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n. Female… The open sharing of thoughts […]

24 Apr

Yes, there are two sides to every story!

My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table. My wife asks, “Do you know her?” “Yes,” I sighed, “She’s my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after […]

20 Apr

I want a pair!

20 Apr

Talk about coincidences…

It was two years to the day, yesterday, that I posted “New Medicines for Women” from Moonglow, and then yesterday, posted the same joke again (only with the visual conclusion) as forwarded by DMA1 without even knowing it. It showed up in my “Flashback” and that’s the only way I knew. Guess if it’s funny, […]

19 Apr

NEW DRUGS FOR WOMEN

DAMNITOL Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 full hours. EMPTYNESTROGEN Suppository that eliminates melancholy and loneliness by reminding you of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn’t wait till they moved out. ST. MOMMA’S WORT Plant extract that treats mom’s depression by […]

18 Apr

Chew on this.

A man and his dog were walking along a road. The man was enjoying the scenery, when it suddenly occurred to him that he was dead. He remembered dying, and that the dog walking beside him had been dead for years. He wondered where the road was leading them. After a while, they came to […]

10 Apr

Afternoon Humour

*** if you try this for real, you may damage your microwave or disk *** Recently one of my friends, a computer wizard, paid me a visit. As we were talking I mentioned that I had recently installed Windows XP on my PC. I told him how happy I was with this operating system and […]

07 Apr

I forgot a little morning humour!

06 Apr

Evening Humour

05 Apr

Help us increase traffic!

Help spread the word about Ramblings of Silver Blue! I’m sure if you’re a regular visitor, you’ve noticed our jokes: 10 Signs of Job Burn Out 10. You’re so tired, you now answer the phone with “Go to Hell.” 9. Your friends call to ask how you’ve been, and you immediately scream, “Stop asking me […]

02 Apr

Educational BS Explained

The following list of phrases and their definitions might help you understand the fuzzy language of science and medicine. These special phrases are also applicable to anyone reading a PhD dissertation or academic paper. “IT HAS LONG BEEN KNOWN”… I didn’t look up the original reference.” “A DEFINITE TREND IS EVIDENT”… These data are practically […]

02 Apr

Sweet Elixir of Life, at long last I have you!

Ok, on the second cup (first one Belgian Chocolate, this one, Holiday Peppermint). Still using Sweet N Low, so…no calories there. Tonight’s going to be the treadmill (I just love torturing myself, can’t you tell?) but I woke up a little more energized today. We’ll see how it continues. I want it to continue. I […]

26 Mar

Here’s Your Sign

Thanks to Moonglow for forwarding these on! Professional semantics Sign over a Gynecologist’s Office: “Dr. Jones, at your cervix.” In a Podiatrist’s office: “Time wounds all heels.” On a Septic Tank Truck in Oregon : “Yesterday’s Meals on Wheels” On another Septic Tank Truck: “We’re #1 in the #2 business” At a Proctologist’s door: “To […]

15 Mar

I OWE MY MOTHER

Thanks to Keyed Up for forwarding this. 1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE . “If you’re going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning.” 2. My mother taught me RELIGION . “You better pray that will come out of the carpet.” 3. My mother taught me […]

14 Mar

In honour of Realtor Guy…

…who didn’t want to dine al fresco last night. Thanks to Tink who found it.

07 Mar

Tacky joke of the day.

A man takes his wife to the stock show. They start heading down the alley that had the bulls. They come up to the first bull and his sign stated: “This bull mated 50 times last year.” The wife turns to her husband and says, “He mated 50 times in a year, you could learn […]

06 Mar

Disturbed?

There have been times when I may have; disturbed you, troubled you, pestered you, irritated you, bugged you, or got on your nerves with all the posts I write, So today I just wanna tell you that…

06 Mar

Bad Joke Tuesday

2 Mexicans wandering aimlessly and close to death. They are close to just lying down and waiting for the inevitable, when all of a sudden… “Hey Pepe, do you smell what I smell. Ees bacon, I is sure of eet.” “Si, Luis, eet smells like bacon to meee”. So, with renewed strength, they struggle off […]

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