The North has Bloomingdale’s, The South has Dollar General. The North has coffee houses, The South has Waffle Houses. The North has dating services, The South has family reunions. The North has switchblade knives, The South has Lee Press-on Nails. The North has double last names, The South has double first names. The North has […]
Archive for the 'Humour' Category
Tink passed on the story of the Arkansas Family welcoming 17th Child. My take on it is simple:
The husband leans over and asks his wife, “Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago? We went behind this very tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you” “Yes, she says, “I remember it well.” “OK,” he says, “How about taking a […]
For the last time. You. Yes, you. You know who you are. Go away and leave us alone. Nobody wants you around.
9 Chickweed Lane, forwarded to me via Tink:
You’ve been asked: What would Jesus do? Now we know! Thanks to Moonglow for passing on this timely message.
when THIS describes my clients.
our author confirms we’re all going to hell.
Forwarded on by Carol. These 16 Police comments were purportedly taken off actual police car videos from around the country: #16 “You know, stop lights don’t come any redder that the one you just went through.” #15 “Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they’re new. They’ll stretch after you wear them a while.” #14 “If […]
Forwarded by Johnny HEADLINES FROM THE YEAR: 2029 Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia, formerly known as California . White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia’s third language. Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock. Baby conceived naturally. […]
Courtesy of an e-mail forwarded by Moonglow. This ought to make you feel better about your computer skills! If you skip any, you have to read the last one! ================================= Tech support: What kind of computer do you have? Female customer: A white one… =============== Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can’t get my diskette […]
Courtesy of Moonglow! You have two choices in life: You can stay single and be miserable, or get married and wish you were dead. At a cocktail party, one woman said to another, “Aren’t you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?” “Yes, I am. I married the wrong man.” A lady inserted an […]
Sexist? You bet. Funny? Of course. Well, at least to me they are! How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened when she brings it ——————————————————————- Why do women have smaller feet than men? It’s one of those “evolutionary things” that allows them to stand closer to the […]
Send to me by Lady who Counts. 16 THINGS THAT IT TOOK ME OVER 50 YEARS TO LEARN: By Dave Barry, Nationally Syndicated Columnist 1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. 2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race […]
Click for larger photo.
Sounds like my ex: Bush has been reported dead!
Courtesy of Moonglow. 🙂