Ramblings of Silver Blue


12 Sep

Hate me if you want, Love me if you can.

Title from a song by Toby Keith.

I had originally debated on moving the blog to a new address, allowing this one to sit until I deleted it.

Then I considered: Why? Why would I go and rearrange my life, my hopes, my dreams, my fears… just because I felt something like this blog was holding me back?

The entries here may not always be the most inspirational. They may not be the most uplifting. They may be depressing at times, filled with angst, with my depression, with my feelings, but you know what?

IT’S ALL PART OF THE FABRIC THAT MAKES UP ME.

Hate me if you want, Love me if you can.

I don’t regret anything in my life… especially the times spent that brought me joy and happiness. So what if it didn’t work out? Does that mean I should view everything that didn’t turn out as I wished as a bad thing? No. It’s all a growth experience.

I welcome you all to this journey that I’ve decided to continue on. Add to the conversation or be gone, matters not to me.

To those who have stood by me, through misgivings, misunderstandings, and misconceptions, I thank you.

To those who have played me like a game, I need not remind you that Karma is a cruel bitch will repay you in spades.

Let Ramblings of Silver Blue 5.0 begin. My life is just starting… and I’m creating every page in the book. Expect some scratch-outs, some inserts, some footnotes, and a whole lot of content that may not make sense to you, but does to me.

Just because I post something, unless I direct it at you implicitly, do not assume to presume it has been posted in reference to you. Self censoring has gone by the wayside.

Remember: I didn’t lose my mind. It was mine to give away.**

** No Regrets by Robbie Williams

The most important thing I can say right now is this, somehow appropriate lyric:

Forgive me for the things that I never said to you
Forgive me for not knowing the right words to say to prove
That I will always be devoted to you and me
And if you can’t feel that in my love
Then I’m sorry for not giving you enough

But I’m not sorry for my Love
I’m not sorry for my touch
The way I made your hands tremble and my heart rush
I would do it all again
Wouldn’t take back a thing
‘Cause with you I’ve lived a thousand lives in one
And I could never be
I could never be
Sorry for love

At least, it was what I felt in my heart.

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