Ramblings of Silver Blue

26 Aug

A strange, but spiritually fulfilling weekend

Yes, I’ve played more games of tennis than I care to count. I’ve bowled so much, I felt like my arm was going to fall off. (New high score: 263!!!)

I found out that Brunswick Bowling was released for the Wii. AMF gets released in November. I enjoy it because it’s exercise that I like, and it’s a hell of a lot cheaper than the lanes (even though I own my own shoes and ball).

I’ve meditated, sent a rambling email, read a number of chapters in Photoshop CS3 books. I’ve sought enlightenment, found contentment, learned I’ve really let go of a lot of negativity. I can’t say I’m closing the door on my past, but you can best bet that it’s not a controlling force in my life any longer. Instead of getting upset or angry, I now feel nothing about those days. They’re behind me. I have experienced them, hopefully I have learned from them, and now it’s time to move beyond them. My meditations have shown me that as long as I try to hold on to the past, I can neither live in the present, nor move into the future.

The future, whatever it holds for me, will be different from the past. As I have broken through the bonds that held me in previous unhealthy relationships, I have decided to “give up”…or better yet, “give in” and quit trying to guide the river. I have to let go, and trust that the universe will provide my needs as long as I am open to receive them.

Scary? Hell yeah. But I feel so emotionally full that I know this can’t be a wrong turn. Everything happens for a purpose.

If you can put it in words, there stands a good chance you’d be able to claim it, too, and turn it into a reality.

Just remember: if it doesn’t work the first, second, or even 50th time, it doesn’t mean that you’ve failed.

It means that you’ve found ways to not achieve what you desire.

Pick yourself up and try again. If you don’t have faith in yourself, how can you honestly expect anyone else to?

That is one of the hardest lessons I’ve had to learn recently.

Simply to BE.

Simply to LIVE.

Combining the two, with a little help,

and simply to BELIEVE.

Be good to each other….do something nice for someone else… a kind word or something more. You’d be surprised at the effect it could have.

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