Ramblings of Silver Blue


22 Jul

TWTTEOSB 07-22-07

Welcome to the first day of the rest of your life, gentle readers of the Ramblings. Oh, sure, it’s now 3:29pm in the afternoon, but you know what? Time is irrelavant. I’ve learned that while we think of things (and time) moving in a linear path, it’s rarely that simple.

As such, I feel the need to lighten the mood while continuing to air out the place. Tink made Bunny Bites™ (think Harry & David’s “Moose Munch™”, but with half honey/half corn syrup, a mixture of milk and semi sweet chocolate, yellow and white popcorn, and semi-toasted pecans), and I just left her upstairs with the statement that I am SO not worthy. That stuff ROCKS. Even Roxette Bunny™ (who christened the product with it’s name) has given it four enthusiastic (and chocolate smeared) paws of approval.

For those who read the blog and give a rats ass: yes, the relationship I was in, and was considering if there was a way to salvage is over. It’s kaputz. Fini. Done for. There’s no ressurrecting it, even in my wildest dreams. You can’t be lied to time and time and time again without finally having your bullshit meter go off the record. We remain friends, for the present time.

What brought this on? A number of things, really. I’ve had friends as far away as Los Angeles, Rochester, and Seattle asking me what the hell I thought I was doing. I obviously wasn’t happy. I hadn’t been happy for years. But I was floating along, thinking that maybe something would change. I even called the whole thing off last year and started seeing other people. When that escapade ended badly (and boy did it ever…you think I have mood swings now? Oh…you have NO idea!), there was talk of a reconciliation. Lies, more lies, and damn lies later, and I finally have, I feel, been able to start the process of redefining who I am, what I am, where I am, and more importantly, why I am.

A few of you have seen this in process. No, the person who I was invovled with doens’t read the blog. They’re under the delusion that everything is everything, and even though I’ve corrected that opinion more than a dozen times, I’m tired of talking and hearing my head rattle.

So, we move on, with a lighter motif, a more cheerful Silver Blue, and hopefully, less bored readers of the Ramblings.

Thoughts go out to BoneCollector, who just can’t shake the bronchitis that she has.

I’m standing by my decision to leave the Church I’m affiliated with. I will be doing this by September 30. I’m doing this to keep from causing any further spiritual damage (to myself or anyone else)

Here’s a little surprise for you. I was able to wear a 36 belt today.

Granted, it looks like I’m having a bit of a muffin-top, even though I don’t. Still, the belt I was wearing before today was labeled "42". Thanks to Tink for taking the photograph (as she does most of the Sunday shots that make the blog). It’s really the only way I’ve been able to find to attempt to track my progress — after all, pounds don’t matter much — you can be light weight and still look like crap.

I appreciate all the kind words from BoneCollector, Tink, Ice Queen’s Lady In Waiting, Angel With A Camera, Coffeemate, Chef Jules, Photo Lady & Household Name, Keith, Radioman, and everyone else.

More in a bit!

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