Ramblings of Silver Blue

Rejected title: Dealing with Disappointment

I’ve often used the expression “I feel for you, but I just can’t reach you.” That’s the way life goes: you can only help those who want to help themselves; there can be no real progress and change without some discomfort.

What am I rambling about this evening, you ask?

Mom had requested that I bring a copy of the Body For Life book over since it is working such wonders in my life. So, I did, and proceeded to do my 20 minute aerobic workout on their bike.

Afterward, they offered me General Tsao chicken and fried rice, which of course I had to turn down because it wasn’t my free day. Mom said to me “well, if we can’t eat what we want, you might as well take the book back home with you.”

She said this, without even opening the book. I told her, “Sorry if this hurts your feelings, but you obviously don’t want to really make a change in your life.”

It’s part of my Codependent Nature to want to try and save the world. I have to realize that you can’t make anyone change even if you know it would help them. You can only provide them the example through your life and they either take it or leave it.

That doesn’t, however, mean that it’s any less painful. I know what the system can do — granted, it makes life a bit less convenient because you actually have to plan what you are going to eat. You can’t stop by Long John Silvers, Wendy’s, or the Chinese Take Away on the corner just because time is running short. You make choices. You live with those choices. It just hurts in another way: my dad had open heart surgery in 2000 and is now borderline diabetic. I know for a fact if he were to apply the principles of this to his life, he’d lose the extra pounds that have crept on him; they’d also help regulate his blood sugar.

With any change in your life, however, you have to want the change. You have to crave it. You have to want to better yourself, to see yourself better, stronger, more fit, etc.

It’s got me a more than a bit down.

I’ve returned to my practice of meditating, which seems to be helping some. Anyone have any suggestions on how I can raise my spirits?