Ramblings of Silver Blue

10 Oct

20 Things That Will Never Happen

1. I’ll never have dinner with Catherine Zeta-Jones.
2. Liza Minnelli will NOT be singing at my funeral.
3. I’ll never be able to dorkslap Bill Clinton for that Monica incident.
4. I’ll never be able to tell Donald Rumsfeld and Tom Ridge to put a cork in it.
5. I’ll never get a “MerryMaid” to clean my house who is as ecstatic about it as those twits in the commercial.
6. I’ll never watch Alex Baldwin and Lucy Lawless making out in my livingroom.
7. I’m pretty sure I’ll never get to meet Rick Astley.
8. I’ll never hold audience with the Royal Family in England, even though we’re distant relatives.
9. I’ll never appear in a Madonna Video.
10. I’ll never design my own line of clothing that takes the world by storm.
11. I’ll never have a body like Marcus Schenkenburg.
12. I’ll never live down my monkier of “Silver Blue”.
13. I’ll never star in a remake of “Titanic”.
14. I’ll never be President of the United States.
15. I’ll never have a #1 record on Billboard.
16. I’ll never have Melissa Ethridge’s lovechild.
17. I’ll never have a perfectly clean house (I seem to attract clutter).
18. I’ll never forget the horror I felt when I was told one of my closest friends had been murdered (RIP, Debbie).
19. I’ll never shave my chest willingly again.
20. I’ll never understand exactly WHY I put this list together.

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